I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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