dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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