I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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