just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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