she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
