i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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