"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
