Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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