Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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