hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Randomize
