If i come over, it means nothing
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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