She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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