did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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