Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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