no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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