I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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