Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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