So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
