you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
