i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
