forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
