I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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