I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize