3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
