You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
