is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
