Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
