I showed him my bush... on skype.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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