butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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