dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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