first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.