it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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