I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize