yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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