she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
