but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
