yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
