everyone is single if you try hard enough
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
