k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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