Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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