dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
