No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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