I heard we made out
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
