I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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