No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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