JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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