When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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