people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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