He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
