How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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