I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
