you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
