OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
