Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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