It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
