i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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