Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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