Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
