I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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